Sex and Morality
I’ve been debating Jason Burgoyne, owner of atheist evolution, recently on Twitter regarding whether sex has a moral component. Twitter debates are limited, however, so I promised @atheistEvo a response more deserving of his challenge. It all began when he posed the following question:
An open question 2 the religious & non-religious alike; Does sex have a moral component?
My stance was that, yes, sex definitely has a moral component. Mr. Burgoyne seems to be taking the stance that sex is merely a bodily function, and to call sex moral or immoral is to conflate issues. It’s hard to gauge someone’s true opinion based on a sentence, so I am sorry if I don’t do Mr. Burgoyne’s position justice (hey, he has his own blog for that). For the purpose of this post, I am going to assume that we are speaking of consensual, legal sex.
My goal in this post is to show how the idea that sex has “no moral component” is an absurd statement. It’s actually incredibly simple to show how sex has a moral component:
- Can any act be called good or bad? (Does morality exist?)
- What makes those actions good or bad? (Why?)
- Apply the same standard to the act of sex. (Or, if you prefer, why would the same standard NOT apply?)
Unless I happen to be debating a nihilist (a typically intellectually painful task), I cannot see a way for someone to answer these questions honestly without admitting that sex must be either moral or immoral.
I suspect that Mr. Burgoyne may be speaking out against the puritanical Catholic-spawned demonization of sex. Organized religions in the U.S. spend a majority of their effort arguing for what should not be done and what is immoral, leaving the question of what should be done (and why) almost untouched. It is folly, however, to accept that ethics or morality consist entirely of the negative position. Let us not accept that immorality is the only component of morality.
Can sex be moral? Yes, absolutely! In fact, I think sex is usually moral. Sex is not only physically pleasurable, but emotionally satisfying. If I were to list the top 10 moments where I have felt closest to another person, a majority of those moments would probably involve sex.
Thinking of ways for sex to be immoral is not hard, either. An act of sex could be physically and emotionally destructive to all parties involved. “Cheating” is the first thought that comes to my mind. I know of a woman who was angry with her husband and thought she would use sex to hurt him. The STD that she unknowingly contracted aside, this particular act of sex was immoral. Just like watching someone purposefully drive off the edge of a cliff, we can easily foresee an undesirable result for all involved.
We could spend a lot of time talking about whether a given act of sex is moral or immoral, however I think I have quite clearly demonstrated that sex has a moral component, just like any other act. To suggest otherwise would require the separation of morality from the consequences, and all of our conclusions from the evidence upon which those conclusions are based. If our morality is at all based on reality, any given act of sex could be either moral or immoral.
By Keenan Steel
Thanks for the post, Keenan. I am surprised that someone would argue that sex and morality were somehow unconnected. Perhaps he will be good enough to write a post on his blog to clarify.
What a twisted idea to leave one of the richest experiences we have outside the scope of morality! A ‘mere’ bodily function? Wtf?
Dear,
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Maybe you can give me some tips.
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Kind Regards
A.
Here are the answers to your questions
1. No. Not every act is a good or bad question. Going for a walk, for example, is not a morality play. It has no moral component. It simply is what it is. Utilitarian and not a function of morality. Your question is worded in such a way as to imply that if EVERY action can’t be labelled as “good” or “bad” then morality doesn’t exist. That is simply untrue. Some acts are just not related to morality at all. Morality continues to exist despite this.
2. What makes an act good or bad? That is too broad a question to answer without parameters for it. I would say that we cant conflate issues when talking about sex. Not only do we carry on old prejudices by doing so, but we distract fromt he real issue. IE- Cheating. It is not the sex that is immoral. It is the betrayal. Sex was merely the vehicle for that betrayal.
3. The same standard DOES apply. Sex just doesn’t have a moral component.
The common arguments to this are;
Cheating. The crime is not sex, but betrayal. (which, I would posit, is immoral)
Abuse, rape, nonconsent. The issue is assault, not sex. Sex was the vehicle for the assault but not the crime in and of itself. To make it so detracts from the severity of the actual crime. Assault is immoral. (sex is a very intimate thing, so when it is used as a vehicle for such acts, it is VERY harmful. Read my latest blogpost on shaming people for sex.)
Other commenters seem to think that just because an experience is rich and fulfilling that it MUST therefor have a moral component. I would ask those people, what the moral component IS then.
How would a person who engages in sex be made moral or immoral? I agree that other acts which are done in conjunction with sex that can CERTAINLY be graded on such a scale, such as lying, deceiving, betrayal, taking away of choice etc… but the act in and of itself is neither moral or immoral. It is a biological imperitive, and must be graded as such.
To say that sex is immoral because someone can use it in immoral fashions in order to hurt or betray someone is like calling defication a moral process because you can deficate on someone in their sleep. The issue isnt’ the defication, it is the nonconsent (and incredible freakishness lol) in that act.
See what I mean?
Calling sex a moral act only allows people to impose their own judgements on the private lives of others.
How would you judge swingers, promiscuous (and safe) people, open relationships, recreational sex acts and even individual acts which you might find distasteful? It is none of our business because it is not a moral question. It simply is not something by which we should base opinion. It is not an accurate snapshot of someones character, any more than their TV program likes and dislikes.